Are all men afflicted with this ridiculous trait: the need to back into every parking space on the planet? Why is this necessary? Why can’t they just pull into a space with the front end of their car like normal people?
It happened again last night. We were going to yet another dratted hockey game when Hubby spied a coveted space near Centre 200. It looked like it was the only one left and the race was on to grab it from some other old guy who doesn’t want to walk far on ice.
We approached and it would have been like slipping a hand in a glove to just turn the car to the right with ease, but no. He drove past the space, leading the car behind us to believe it was their lucky day, but then braked and started to back up. I know the guy behind us was cursing because that’s what I’d be doing. And now the car trying to get by us from the other side has to wait while the front end of our car nearly hits their front bumper and the two people walking into Tim Hortons suddenly have to give us a wide berth because of this three-point turn. There are now six people involved in this moment in time, when it could have been avoided by just moving forward between the lines.
“Was that necessary?” I grumped.
Hubby didn’t answer me. He never does. He’s still dealing with this new car’s backup camera, which is now covered with dirty snow crap.
“Which line am I supposed to go up to? Am I too close to the car behind me? Can you see?”
“No, I can’t see because I can’t turn around in this seat with my seatbelt on. If you’d just driven in, you’d be able to tell if you were too close because it would be in front of your face.”
That’s when he does stop and look at me. “If I remember correctly, it was you who wanted to have this backup camera in the car.”
“I wanted it for when I’m backing up, not this nonsense. I’ve never backed into a parking space in my life and I’m not going to start now.”
Am I not correct? Isn’t it just simpler to do it the right way? What is the advantage?
So men can leave the parking space a whole two seconds earlier than normal?
I’m pretty sure parking lots were designed for cars to drive into the space frontward because we’re not dealing with a lot of room between the lines. Architects no doubt envisioned vehicles purring into slots one after the other with ease, not dealing with silly men who are turning themselves inside out, going around in circles, to stick their trucks’ big rear ends in first.
Since there is no sensible explanation, I’m going to blame Dinky Toys.
When little boys play with tiny cars on the floor, what do they do? They push them around making “zoom zoom” noises and inevitably back them up into snug spaces, before smashing them around in pretend car crashes and other catastrophes.
Guys just like that sort of thing. The hairier the situation, the better. They love getting trucks out of mud with chains and things, for some odd reason. So, maybe this situation isn’t entirely their fault. Perhaps it’s in their DNA.
And, to be fair, I confess to having my own bad habit when dealing with driving. I won’t turn left at a stop sign and cross four lanes of traffic, even if I have to go that way. I’ll turn right and find the nearest side street, pull into someone’s driveway and turn around. Most women I know do too.
So, I’m going to put down this behaviour as an innate compulsion. Men just can’t help themselves, so I might as well save my breath and let it go. Hubby will be very glad to hear it.
P.S. I discussed this with two of my besties recently and was horrified to learn they back into parking spaces too, so apparently, I’m very wrong in thinking this is a male problem. Harrumph.
Lesley Crewe is a writer living in, and loving, Cape Breton. These are the meandering musings of a bored housewife whose ungrateful kids left her alone with a retired husband and a fat cat who couldn’t care less. Her 10th novel, Beholden, is in bookstores now.